Beans for Beltane
Boss Warlock's Kick-Ass Vegetarian Baked Beans
What makes baked beans Beltane food?
Easily told.
With their long, slow all-day bake, baked beans might seem—and indeed, are—a quintessential Winter preparation. Why, then, do I always make them for Beltane?
Well, remember: Beltane may be the Eve of Summer, but it’s not Summer yet. The garden has barely begin to produce—so far I’ve had sorrel, chives, and rhubarb—and though the new milk and eggs are coming in, thank Goddess, it will be a while and a while before we start seeing much in the way of local produce. Like it or not, we’ll still be living off of stored Winter foods for a while yet.
There’s more. Beltane’s usually our first outdoor feast of the season, and baked beans are classic picnic food. Beltane being Beltane, though—this is Minnesota, after all—it’s best to have something warming to eat. (We sing to you of flowers, of butterflies, and bees/but at 5 o’ clock this morning, it was only 10 degrees, says the Minnesota May Song.) Hence beanies.
Part is self-protection. In Midwest Potluck Culture, I learned long ago that if I want a vegetarian entree—i.e. protein—I’d better bring one myself. Baked beans are a great option: they’re cheap—it’s the long, slow preparation that makes them special-occasion food—they’re delicious, and everyone loves them. With a little luck, there will even be enough left over for Beans on Toast next morning, the Breakfast of the Gods.
Beltane’s a busy time—around here, the celebration goes on for days—and baked beans are something that can be made ahead of time. They just get better and better the longer that they bake, and are even tastier the next day.
Then, of course, there’s the fact that Beltane marks the beginning of outdoor season. As my friend and colleague Robin Grimm once delicately put it, this renders breaking wind a little less socially problematic.
Baked beans for Beltane. If it weren’t paradoxical, it wouldn’t be pagan.
Baked beans were one of my father’s favorite foods. I once asked him why.
My father grew up hungry during the Great Depression. When you had baked beans for supper, he told me, the pot would go around the table and, when it got back to you, there would still be enough left that you could have more.
Top o’ the May to you and yours, folks.
It’s Beltane: bring on the beans.
Boss Warlock’s Kick-Ass Vegetarian Baked Beans
Three secrets to good baked beans: mustard, beer, and a generous hand with the sugar.
2 cups dried navy beans
1 bottle beer (the darker, the better)
1 tablespoon dried mustard powder
1 tablespoon dried onion/onion powder
3 tablespoons ketchup
drizzle molasses
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 teaspoons Worchestershire sauce (the usual commercial brands contain anchovy, so I use a vegan iteration)
2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar
salt to taste
Soak the beans overnight. Drain, cover with water, and cook until soft. (I generally use a slow-cooker.) Stir in remaining ingredients and mix well. Turn out into baking dish or bean pot, and top off with as much of the good, rich bean liquor as will fit. Cover and bake at 250° F for up to 12 hours, stirring occasionally, especially toward the end of cooking. If necessary, thin with water, bean liquor, or vegetable broth.